32 months ago… at that time, I used to love her. Used to love her silently, never spoke my heart to anyone. At the moment I am writing this, the memories of her are still strong. And I miss…
“I did love you. I loved you almost since the first moment you revealed yourself to me. I loved you more and more as the days were passing, as much as I was realizing how special and different you were.
Loved you because you were representing the future itself, so full of dreams, plans and hopes. I loved you because you were something I thought I could never become, I loved you for your open mind and spirit… for your pure freedom that I do (can’t afford myself) not have.
Because you were doing so well on your own… but not me. I have been always relating to someone, always wanting something which wasn't up to me to get. Too much hand of fortune in my life, until I reached the point of my self-awakening. I almost forgot about my power to build what I want.
I continuously loved you... loved you until I realized I am just... just exactly as you are. Either I am what I used to call "different and special" when it came about you, either you... you lost that thing which made you so special to me, that thing that made me fall for you. We are simply too much alike, I want you... just... just to surprise me. Do not allow me to get to know you... be my friend, but also be a "stranger".
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Have thought a lot, during the last 2 months about what I just posted. I just wanted to see how sincerely I allow myself to be with myself, and how hard could it be to deal with my actual feelings. It’s hard, almost a burden, to have the feelings. I am Cris. Sincere as much as I could be.
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It will all get its meaning into the right eyes, at the right time…”
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